in Arts & Culture
42 Jahre Bis Ich Sehe Richtig Mir [UPDATED]
Wer sind Sie ohne haar?

[Read more about jehan]

How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life / Paperback

[UPDATE: June 11, 2016] Since May 8, 2015 I have made my home in Utah. What inspired me to leave the life and path that I adopted during Occupy Wall Street? In Utah, I have a place that does not destroy my soul.

Some have suggested that I delete this interview from the site. I believe that it's important to tell the truth, to remember your experiences and share them with others.

What have I learned from my Occupy Wall Street adventure in poverty, Buddhist practice and homelessness? I have learned the nature of suffering in its most obvious and literal sense. I have learned that this suffering is not unique to any single group of people by ethnicity, nationality or race. I have also learned that the effort and burden of this suffering is an experience that many minds and hearts are not able to withstand.

I survived this adventure. I am healthy. I am sane. And, I have arrived in Israel.

[Originally published January 26, 2016] Entlich, ich schneide alle mein haar. Ich gerne mein kurz haar.

So, just to make certain that you know what's going on. My name is jehan. I'm an artist. I've been living my life as a homeless beggar since 2011 after Occupy Wall Street. I've travelled the United States and experienced life as a homeless beggar in multiple cities. It's been a pretty interesting journey.

I returned to New York City during October 2015 to prepare for--as they would say in British vernacular--"another go" at finding a permanent place to live in the United States. I'm looking for a home.


Within the vocabulary of my life as a homeless beggar, the word "prepare" actually means "work" and the word "work" means "beg" and the practical meaning of "beg" is to sit on the street with a cardboard sign and some sort of container in which people can place money. Literally.


This is what I have been doing since October 2015. I promised myself that I would endure the cold for at least 3 months to complete the task. January 18, 2016 was the last day of that particular promise. Now, I am resting and preparing to travel. Where am I going? I am continuing to ponder my options, but considering how cold it's been for these three months, I think I'd like to thaw out first, get a tan, return to my preferred self image. What's that, you say? I don't know, but somehow I know that it's something similar to a well-tanned, physically active person that lives in a climate that doesn't require 5 or more layers of coats to protect themselves from cold temperatures.

jehan mit haar

I've been a baptized Mormon since 1996. However, in my daily life, I live and practice as a Buddhist. I recently shaved my head. This was sort of a serious decision and sacrifice as I have had long hair for a very long time. I began growing my dredlocks in 1999. It's a very strange thing to have no hair, but I love it. I'm glad to have rid myself of the hair and everything it means and projects to the world. What are the messages that hair would project to the world? I don't know, but now there is only me. I'm not a girl with long hair, I'm just me.

Now that I've had this experience of truly shedding the hair, the symbol of femininity, feminine sexuality, female gender identity, I have less interest in living a life that includes participation in Mormon activities. I suppose that makes sense considering so much of Mormon life and activities are predicated on gender. I love being Mormon, but is there place for me in the Mormon world if I believe that I am male or do not believe that I am female?

I have lived in Utah and experienced life as a Mormon in an environment where we are the majority. I have to tell you. It's beautiful. If anyone tells you that they do not enjoy or appreciate being a member of the dominant culture, the power and privilege that membership provides, I would suggest that you carefully consider the truth of what they are saying. I love Mormon doctrine and I love doing things that Mormons do, but I believe that the privileges of being Mormon are for people who honestly claim membership and that includes claiming a gender and participating in the way that members of that gender are welcomed to participate.

During my time in Utah, I told my Bishop and the members of my ward that I identify with the male gender and that I am attracted to men. This must have appeared as a puzzle considering that I am physically female. However, I also told them that I am and have been celibate for nearly 7 years and I participated in Mormon activities as a female and an active member of the Relief Society. At that time, my participation was true.

Now that I have shaven my head and experienced life with no desire to attend Sacrament Meeting, would it be true now? I don't know.

In the midst of those thoughts, I am working toward the simplest of human desires. I am looking for a home. Where's a cool place to live? And, when I say "cool" I mean "warm".

Wikipedia said:

Jehan is a male given name. It is the old orthography of Jean in Old French, and is rarely given anymore.

- So sayeth Wikipedia, 09/02/2019 19:57:06

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